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Ignorance is enforced in our culture, to trip you over your own nature and never fully notice it calling to you from inside, even right now, even from me.  The unconscious, that natural intelligence, however mysterious and dangerous, can serve as a beacon for others. Life, living, cries out from below your ego, and the less you listen the more it becomes a madness or a vector for pharmaceutical sales. But in our modern culture, even a little madness can inoculate you. 

We numb ourselves, no pain-no problem, and then we wonder where the excitement of feeling alive has vanished to, thinking another Paxil will bring the meaning back in a chemical gush. We grind out life in increments of plastic and digits and burgers, then we rest from the grind at home watching digitized plastic burger commercials. We mock and look down on the disenfranchised, the stupid, the weak while worshiping men and women enriching themselves on everyone else’s intellectual and emotional poverty. Debt is a condition of life here, and by that I mean almost everywhere, but the debt isn’t just of finances, currency comes in all types, as does power. Collectivity is affirmed over individuality because collectivity is inherent anyway and easily weaponized against you, the individual. 

Lacking power, we attach ourselves to the group or the idol for a corrupted meaning. This is not new despite how progressive it seems. An easy enantiodromia of inferiority to superiority, so easy. Chaos is generated and furnished in thought factories from Bel-air to Bristol, while the order we are taught to expect drips down from above like Immortan Joe’s fresh bountiful water. We are disconnected from reality for a hyper dimensional eternal prison. But never forget that the beep, boop, bars are in fact just your own self and escape is as simple as opening the lock of your heart. If they want to enslave with nihilism, hate and fear then what is love, what is faith and what is courage?

Clarity and knowledge – If what you need to see is a trap, then clarity is protective, knowledge is prophylactic. They trick us to look for what we already have, yes and some never find it. And of course we waste our lives looking, (for a pair of glasses already hanging off our face) never stopping to notice, that wait, maybe we can see just fine, but the trick is to hold the palantir forever in your hands, so they can see into you, no, wait, so they can hold you, forever, while you are tricked to keep gazing into a funhouse mirror of yourself; that is, at everything, but the truth.

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At the risk of pissing people off – I would argue we are not angry enough as a society – I’ll ask a simple question. 

With no accountability, who would you rather have access to your children—Epstein or the Night King?

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So Humanity suffers her pact with Evil. Bespoiled for a bit of gold, cheated out of soul for pleasure, if only comfort, swindled by the worst among them adorned in costumes of conviction. Those leaders had screamed “follow us to utopia!” and in the beginning the smooth-smiled shepherds found sheep as the beleaguered many sought better pastures to graze. The bulk of humanity sold themselves into blind obedience for the rewards of comfort and peace at the end of global domination, though it should have been plain to each of them they couldn’t dominate the nature of their own hearts. The mighty human being: larded with genius and empathy – their potential drawn from an inexhaustible spring – had devolved themselves by choices of least resistance to beasts bleating slogans in unison rather than posing simple questions. Their conception of God jettisoned, they fused what remained of the human spirit to amoral technology and a cult of Science while degrading what remained of their morality to cynicism, using each other to house the blame for their own individual faults. Human youth were taught to misunderstand and never to question and for their adults truth first became rebellion and then heresy, until it no longer existed at all. Most humans, young and old, learned their words only deep enough to repeat them all while fair gradually became foul and foul grew to be fair. The many sank low in their denial of what was happening around them as they grew ever more ensconced in marketable fantasies instead. When the many people finally thought to bristle against their false shepherds, those powerful and wealthy Few transfigured into a pack of lascivious wolves.

Before Humanity was fully hypnotized and led to the slaughter by charismatic psychopaths, individual opportunities for lucid reflection were drowned out by the incessant proclamations of righteous superiority which served well to shroud the peoples deepening inferiority. The notion of ‘Homo-Maximus’ was touted to offset the truth of all those who were torn from the soil and sown into the state, crowded into urbanity like chickens in an industrial coop, until they were viewed as weeds instead. The masses were stripped of human instinct, even that of self-preservation, while tricked into almost meaningless ‘work’ where they relied on everybody else and anything else rather than themselves: all of this supporting a fractured sense of security, while anybody who disagreed with this “progress” was referred to as Homo-Pessimus – subject to state sanctioned re-education – whether that intellectual adversary was their brother or sister, father or mother, son or daughter. Slogans somehow supplanted the bonds of family and friendship; Humanity descended into a conflict of all against all, pecking each other incessantly on the basis of poorly conceived ideas and misunderstood emotions, murdering and enslaving each other, even though had they listened to they would have discovered that they often argued for the same ends if not the same points. Under these brittle psychological conditions degradation grew. Many humans accepted the State as their Savior from this manufactured chaos while the State stole from the citizens their responsibility to think and bond with one another; stealing the power from the individual human to improve their own life, burying deep in the human psyche the plain fact that such improvement was even possible – without expert guidance. Humans dispensed with religion, replacing one authoritarian God in the sky for one in an expensive suit or blemish less white coat, consigning all their sacred and beautiful texts to a blaze of deconstruction while appealing to their screens and scientific clergy for everything they could know or was worth knowing. Believing they would bloom daily to the Sun in peace and luxury, fed by soil irrigated with the blood of those who disagreed, until it was all too late and the State swooped down as a sickle upon them in a terrifying arc of harvest. 

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Thank you for being generous with your time and your support, you know who you are. 

We hope to be able to share more and more and more and…

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We have a lot planned, but since we are in the beginning feel free to let us know what topics you’d like us to cover and we will do our best. 

Much Love and Devotion

Detwritus

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When God has left us what do we become?

Novelty: a siren beckoning you into the moment until the parts of you that bore thaw into a sea of senses bolstered by blood, and then all you are is flesh and flesh is enough.

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I’d be typing this out and posting it at 3:44 am if the management spent less time and money on monitoring the pc screen and more time and money on a functional lock on the entrance door. I’ll write this on paper and type it up later before my baby daughter and wife wake up. I have to promise myself to do this because I know how I feel right this second at 3:48 am on Wednesday May 21st: exhausted, terrified, embarrassed, and more urgent than I’d like to be. I know when they wake up ill see them and forget like their presence is an analgesic, but one that lasts only till 3:48 am Thursday the 22nd of May. So I have to promise myself. I’m trying hard not to be negative, but the panic rises with the anger and I have to squeeze it all into a digestible shape and send it back down the way it came. Men aren’t supposed to feel like this, right? I’ve been told they should never admit it. Being raised without a father I never held many assumptions on what manhood was. I only knew very clearly what it wasn’t. I haven’t been a husband for too long, and I’m just months into being a father myself. I need to be better. I will be. My daughter can’t ever see me like this – it’s bad enough my wife has occasionally – I’ve never been more motivated. I’ve never felt so empowered and at the same time in pain. Is that being a father? Why share this? I have no idea, outside of a strange bright sunbeam extending from destruction to creation and lovingly enfolding around a green trifoliate leaf of hope. Hope dies last they say. 

My life isn’t bad, this is made clear to me every night by some of the teary eyed customers I meet and the homeless drug addicts who we have to bar from entering the aforementioned door, most are zombified by fentanyl, stooping over at the waist in such an aggressive angle that it seems like Hell is sucking them down by the forehead. It eats your soul in bites just to see it, let alone to imagine living it, but I think selfishly, and often, that at least they won’t have the agility or stamina to rob me – or worse – like the strutting douche who robbed the staff room hours earlier and stole a coworkers lunch, house keys and I.D in what was left of the daylight. Scary stuff when the drugs that burn peoples lives to the ground and melt their spines from the inside out keep the staff a little safer. The new security guard hired to watch the door tells me we’re deep into the Kali Yuga. Looking outside at the different folks nesting into the hard cold pavement every night, It’s hard to disagree with him. Today makes 2019 seem like a Golden Era.

My life could be worse, I could be a cop confronting this mess and struggling with that particular brand of cynicism and compassion fatigue that builds up by each event ID every night. One thing you learn quickly working the night shift close to the heart of the city is how the job would be impossible to do without the police; and how related the rule of law is to a functioning economy. I guess I could have known that intellectually, but after being threatened by a desperate sort of person with nothing to lose you learn it in your chest, which holds a far deeper reservoir of understanding than your skull. 

Its not that bad I tell myself every night, things just seem so chaotic and like they are getting worse by the day. Maybe it’s being away from the Sun, my family, or sleep but my emotions and thoughts have been scattered, yet that makes the certainties all the more clear – so there’s that to be grateful for: my wife is both beautiful and lovely, my daughter’s toothless smile when she sees me in the morning is a more intensely positive and powerful feeling then the occasional drug addled threat is a negative one. And it’s that new certainty, that new understanding that has made me realize how foolish I’ve been. I’ve been far too negative, I’ve focused on what is hurting everyone rather than what and how I could be helpful. In my own personal experience and life long hobby, how much more I could offer people than simply pointing out what is wrong – the negative is easy and so obvious, go downtown in any major city in North America (and Punjab apparently) at 4:12 am on a Wednesday and you will be taught a lesson on the negative. I can offer more than that – and it’s okay to ask for more than that back from people. Anyone can break stuff. Anyone can point out something that is broken. Anyone can hurt someone, but can anyone heal them? I will now endeavor to provide something more, to build something new. And like a mystical fool I believe that as I change for the better so will the connections. 

And old Indian man, a sage, advised me once on a personal level that I should offer a Bilva leaf to Shiva, to imagine the offering in my mind and that would be enough outside of my own hard work. That even something so simple and full of grace would help. So I am and I hope it will, and not just for me or my family, but it has to start somewhere real. 

Time to provide more, time to offer more, so, more is to come…